Can Muslims be friends with non-Muslims?

 

I like it when a Muslim refers to me as "My friend." However, eve since I came to understand the general atmosphere of ignorance regarding Islam, I can't help but wonder, is this really what Islam itself teaches about non-Muslims?

Let's see what the quran says about having non-muslim friends.

Aal-e-Imran 3:28

Let not the believers take the disbelievers as Auliya (supporters, helpers, etc.) instead of the believers, and whoever does that will never be helped by Allah in any way, except if you indeed fear a danger from them. And Allah warns you against Himself (His Punishment), and to Allah is the final return.

Hmm...That's not nice. It says Muslims aren't allowed to have non-Muslim friends unless they fear that not having such friends will endanger them. I wonder what Ibn Kathir, the greatest ever Quran commentator, had to say about this.

Aal-e-Imran 3:28

English - Tafsir ibn kathir

The Prohibition of Supporting the Disbelievers 

Allah says;

Let not the believers take the disbelievers as friends instead of the believers,

Allah prohibited His believing servants from becoming supporters of the disbelievers, or to take them as comrades with whom they develop friendships, rather than the believers.

Allah warned against such behavior when He said,

And whoever does that, will never be helped by Allah in any way,

meaning, whoever commits this act that Allah has prohibited, then Allah will discard him.

Similarly, Allah said,

O you who believe! Take not My enemies and your enemies as friends, showing affection towards them, until, 

 And whosoever of you does that, then indeed he has gone astray from the straight path. (60:1)

Allah said,

O you who believe! Take not for friends disbelievers instead of believers. Do you wish to offer Allah a manifest proof against yourselves! (4:144)

and,

O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians as friends, they are but friends of each other. And whoever befriends them, then surely, he is one of them. (5:51)

Allah said, after mentioning the fact that the faithful believers gave their support to the faithful believers among the Muhajirin, Ansar and Bedouins,

And those who disbelieve are allies of one another, (and) if you do not behave the same, there will be Fitnah and oppression on the earth, and a great mischief and corruption. (8:73)

Allah said next,

unless you indeed fear a danger from them,

meaning, except those believers who in some areas or times fear for their safety from the disbelievers.

In this case, such believers are allowed to show friendship to the disbelievers outwardly, but never inwardly.

For instance, Al-Bukhari recorded that Abu Ad-Darda' said,

"We smile in the face of some people although our hearts curse them."

Al-Bukhari said that Al-Hasan said,

"The Tuqyah is allowed until the Day of Resurrection."

Allah said,

And Allah warns you against Himself.

meaning, He warns you against His anger and the severe torment He prepared for those who give their support to His enemies, and those who have enmity with His friends.

And to Allah is the final return.

meaning, the return is to Him and He will reward or punish each person according to their deeds.

Hmm...That's The entire commentary on Quran 3:28.

As we see here, Muslims are allowed to have non-Muslims as friends only if it's a place where non-Muslims have the upper hand over the Muslims, as we read in,

"...meaning, except those believers who in some areas or times fear for their safety from the disbelievers..."

That's when Muslims are allowed to PRETEND to be friendly, as we read in,

"...In this case, such believers are allowed to show friendship to the disbelievers outwardly, but never inwardly..."

Ibn Kathir quotes Abu Ad-Darda, who was a companion of Muhammad.

" "We smile in the face of some people although our hearts curse them." "

And in case you wonder if this was something that was applied only in the early times of Islam, Ibn Kathir reports what Al-Hasan said,

" "The Tuqyah is allowed until the Day of Resurrection." "

Tuqyah is the principle of pretending to be friendly.

And why would Muslims have to fear danger from non-Muslims?

Well, Muslims are commanded to kill polytheists (Quran 9:5), fight unbelievers (9:29), strive hard against the unbelievers and the hypocrites (9:73), fight in Allah's way, kill, and get killed (9:111), fight the unbelievers who are near to them (9:123) and so on.

Now, what happens if Muslims try to fight unbelievers in a place where they don't have the upper hand? They get overpowered.

So, in such instances, Muslims are commanded to PRETEND to be friendly with non-Muslims, and when they have the upper hand, fight them, as we read in the quran,

Muhammad 47:35

So be not weak and ask not for peace (from the enemies of Islam), while you are having the upper hand. Allah is with you, and will never decrease the reward of your good deeds.

As you see, Islam itself doesn't allow Muslims to have nonbelievers as friends. However, does this mean the average Muslim we meet in our day to day lives, is lying to us?

Well, technically, yes, but, as I said earlier, There's an atmosphere of ignorance when it comes to Islam. So, it's likely that when a Muslim refers to you as "My friend," he actually means that. Here in the Dharmic world, Muslims ar generally raised with the same values as we are, so it's likely that they either never read their actual texts, or read those non-Islamic values from their texts ie they read what they wanna read.

However, the muslim who's aware that he's commanded to fight you, might still refer to as "My friend," and when he does, he's practicing Taqiyya.